Not sure what to say today. Nothing has been going on. Its yucky and rainy today, so can't do much outside. I want summer to get here so bad. But living in NY it seems so far away! I can't wait for May, we are going to Cape Cod!! I love it there!! If it wasn't on the water, and more up north, I would love to live there lol! I can't stand the cold.
I guess I better kick start my diet too! So I can look somewhat cute in shorts and stuff lol!! So if you have tips, and pointers, I am all ears! I will have to start my Zumba and Wii Active again. I know eating right, but other tips would be great, I cant do "diet" pills cause of my heart.
Well thats all I got for now!
Later.
Staci
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Grandma
Today is one of many sad days in my life.
This date 4 years ago I lost someone so close to me, my Grandmother. She was the rock in my family. Once she left us, my family hasn't been the same. We don't see each other as much, we just went on with our lives.
A bit about my grandma. She should of died in Oct of 06. I came home from work past midnight, since I worked till midnight at the time. She was on the couch and could barely breath, I called 911, EMT comes, and load her in the bus. One of the EMT's comes back in and said, they are taking her to Strong Hospital for better care. At that time, I didn't know she went into a whirl in of bad events. I get to the hospital before she did, go figure right. I am waiting in the waiting room, I finaly get to go back, and I see her with tubes in her nose and mouth. She was tied down to the bed. At that moment I called my dad, he comes rushing to the hospital. I need to back track, she was an DRN, since the EMT's didn't know they tubed her. I couldn't look at her, it hurt to much. I finally went home and got some rest. Called off of work for a few days. That night the Dr said if she were to of pulled out the tube, she would of died. I couldn't make that decion, since I wasn't her power of attn. I did go to the hopsital, everyday, she was transfered to ICU for a few days, I couldn't go in and see her. Seeing her in the ER was bad enough. I finally saw her the day before she came home. I was in tears, she told me to stop it so I did.
Moving on to the next part of the story.
She decided to move in with my Uncle after all this happened. Well I moved out, since she was going to be moving. I moved out in Dec. The last time I saw her was in Feb for my birthday! Which I think I went to my dads like the 25th or so. She couldn't make it, so I went to her. She wasn't looking good, but I just didn't say anything. Fast foward to the 3 of March. My sister and her Husband were over for dinner. Joelle's phone rings, she starts crying, saying "I knew I should of seen her, and gone over there." She gets off the phone and said Grandma had died. I fall to the floor I'm crying so hard, I can't breathe. We rush to her house, she hadn't moved yet. The cops are there, my dad, my cousin, family out of town are there as well. I go running inside, I had to see it to believe it!! It was true, she was on the floor, in the living room, she looked like she was sleeping. She had been gone for atleast 24 hours. My cousin found her. She had a dog at the time, my heart broke for her too. Luckily the girl next door said she would love to take Abby. So she went to a good home.
I haven't fully come to terms of not living with her at the time she died. I moved out so quick, when I knew I should of stayed. I thought my family blamed her dying alone on me, since I wasn't there anymore. I blamed myself for not being there when she died. She was all alone. I don't know how she could of felt. Knowing her, she would of said "Oh shit" as she went down. They ruled it as a heart attack. So I prolly couldn't of done anything, I will never know. Still doesn't take away the pain I feel everyday.
Now on the lady I remember and will cherish.
She was fiesty, a bitch, a great friend, and mother, grandmother, great grandmother, aunt, sister, wife. She was also very set in her ways. She was stubborn, caring, loving. She loved everyone. Well one person she didn't. Thats another blog post when the time is right. She welcomed everyone into her home. She hardly got angry. I know she was lonely when my gramps passed away. They were married for over 50 yrs. Kinda strange, my gramps passed 3/13/97, my gram passed 3/3/07. I feel it was planned that way. No matter what I do in my life, my gram is never far from my thoughts. I had red carnations in my bouques at my wedding, a red bead on my necklace, in honor of my grandmother.
She was my world, she will continue to be till the day I die.
Parts of me, are her. I am a bitch, I am stubborn, fiesty, I try to love everyone. I have learned so much from her, with her love, her actions. She is who I want to be, in a person.
Bernice D. George you are my hero, you are my everything. I love you and miss you till the day I die!!
Sorry if this made you cry, but this is what I feel on this day every year, I know it will get easier, but right now, I don't know when.
This date 4 years ago I lost someone so close to me, my Grandmother. She was the rock in my family. Once she left us, my family hasn't been the same. We don't see each other as much, we just went on with our lives.
A bit about my grandma. She should of died in Oct of 06. I came home from work past midnight, since I worked till midnight at the time. She was on the couch and could barely breath, I called 911, EMT comes, and load her in the bus. One of the EMT's comes back in and said, they are taking her to Strong Hospital for better care. At that time, I didn't know she went into a whirl in of bad events. I get to the hospital before she did, go figure right. I am waiting in the waiting room, I finaly get to go back, and I see her with tubes in her nose and mouth. She was tied down to the bed. At that moment I called my dad, he comes rushing to the hospital. I need to back track, she was an DRN, since the EMT's didn't know they tubed her. I couldn't look at her, it hurt to much. I finally went home and got some rest. Called off of work for a few days. That night the Dr said if she were to of pulled out the tube, she would of died. I couldn't make that decion, since I wasn't her power of attn. I did go to the hopsital, everyday, she was transfered to ICU for a few days, I couldn't go in and see her. Seeing her in the ER was bad enough. I finally saw her the day before she came home. I was in tears, she told me to stop it so I did.
Moving on to the next part of the story.
She decided to move in with my Uncle after all this happened. Well I moved out, since she was going to be moving. I moved out in Dec. The last time I saw her was in Feb for my birthday! Which I think I went to my dads like the 25th or so. She couldn't make it, so I went to her. She wasn't looking good, but I just didn't say anything. Fast foward to the 3 of March. My sister and her Husband were over for dinner. Joelle's phone rings, she starts crying, saying "I knew I should of seen her, and gone over there." She gets off the phone and said Grandma had died. I fall to the floor I'm crying so hard, I can't breathe. We rush to her house, she hadn't moved yet. The cops are there, my dad, my cousin, family out of town are there as well. I go running inside, I had to see it to believe it!! It was true, she was on the floor, in the living room, she looked like she was sleeping. She had been gone for atleast 24 hours. My cousin found her. She had a dog at the time, my heart broke for her too. Luckily the girl next door said she would love to take Abby. So she went to a good home.
I haven't fully come to terms of not living with her at the time she died. I moved out so quick, when I knew I should of stayed. I thought my family blamed her dying alone on me, since I wasn't there anymore. I blamed myself for not being there when she died. She was all alone. I don't know how she could of felt. Knowing her, she would of said "Oh shit" as she went down. They ruled it as a heart attack. So I prolly couldn't of done anything, I will never know. Still doesn't take away the pain I feel everyday.
Now on the lady I remember and will cherish.
She was fiesty, a bitch, a great friend, and mother, grandmother, great grandmother, aunt, sister, wife. She was also very set in her ways. She was stubborn, caring, loving. She loved everyone. Well one person she didn't. Thats another blog post when the time is right. She welcomed everyone into her home. She hardly got angry. I know she was lonely when my gramps passed away. They were married for over 50 yrs. Kinda strange, my gramps passed 3/13/97, my gram passed 3/3/07. I feel it was planned that way. No matter what I do in my life, my gram is never far from my thoughts. I had red carnations in my bouques at my wedding, a red bead on my necklace, in honor of my grandmother.
She was my world, she will continue to be till the day I die.
Parts of me, are her. I am a bitch, I am stubborn, fiesty, I try to love everyone. I have learned so much from her, with her love, her actions. She is who I want to be, in a person.
Bernice D. George you are my hero, you are my everything. I love you and miss you till the day I die!!
Sorry if this made you cry, but this is what I feel on this day every year, I know it will get easier, but right now, I don't know when.
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